Cool Cat is Superlative

It was a sunny day outside in Sunny California, and Cool Cat wanted something to do.  He picked up one of Daddy Derek's well-used "entertainment" magazines, but quickly put it back down.  You could only look at pictures of men wrestling women in cat suits and aprons so many times before you got tired and had to go beddy-bye.

"Goo," said Cool Cat, "I'm bored.  I wonder if Daddy Derek has anything for me to do!"

He quickly rushed into Daddy Derek's office, who just as quickly zipped up.  "Well hey, Cool Cat!   How are you doing buddy!  It's a beautiful day today!"

"Goo, Daddy Derek!  That's terrific!"  Said Cool Cat.  "I love it when it's pretty outside.  It makes me want to chase bullies into oncoming traffic!"

"Bullies don't have any friends," Daddy Derek observed.

"Goo!  They sure don't!" said Cool Cat.  "And that means they should die like the tiny infidels they are!"

"Gosh Cool Cat, do you want some breakfast?  Momma Cat's having a wrestling match over at Erik Estrada's, but I can fix you something tasty and good for you!"

"No thanks," said Cool Cat.  "I just ate ten minutes ago and it was FAN-tastic!  I'm just bored and hoped you might have something for me to do!  Do you have any suggestions?"

"I'm just full of suggestions!"  said Daddy Derek. "And soon you will be too!"

"Goo!" Cried  Cool Cat, clapping his furry hand-paws.  "I like it when you have big suggestions!  I want you to fill me on the inside with your big suggestions!"

Daddy Derek nodded, pulling away from the desk.  "I sure do, Cool Cat!"

"Goo!  Well, where is it?" Asked Cool Cat, hopping up and down.  "I want your suggestion in me RIGHT NOW!"

"It's in my pants!"  Said Daddy Derek.  "It's a salted nut roll!"

"That makes me SO HOT!" Said Cool Cat.

"Gosh, that's understandable, Cool Cat," said Daddy Derek.  "It's very warm in that suit.  We need to get you ventilation, buddy!"

"Hey, do you think maybe you could teach me to pluck your VAN HALEN GUITAR?  You look so cool when you pluck it!  I wish you could pluck it with your big stripper hands all night!"

Daddy Derek scratched his chin speculative.  "Gosh, I dunno.  That guitar is awfully BIG.  Are you sure you can handle it in those big furry cat palms of yours?"

"Goooo!  I know I could!"  Cried  Cool Cat.  "I could pluck with your instrument in two hands while eating that salted nut roll with my MOUTH!"

"Could you?"

"I COULD!"

And then they had the sex.