"Mm," Katie said, "Since I am a rebellious and headstrong teen, I plan on scaling down the side of my suburban home and hopping in my car, where That Rufus and I shall make decisions of a questionable moral bent." And this she made to do when she was unexpectedly interrupted.
"Stop right there," Katie's Mom cried. "I can't stop you from seeing That Rufus, Little Katie. All I can do is plead with you. Plead with you to do the right thing. You met That Rufus on the internets and he has a tattoo of mimes on his tushy. That means he is in a gang of carnivore mimes. Your grandmother says so and she watches TV."
"You will never stop me from loving That Rufus." Katie stubbornly insisted, folding her arms before her ample teen bosom.
"Remember Uncle Steve? He dated online. Now he works at the department store. Do you want to be like Uncle Steve?"
"I no longer love That Rufus," said Katie. "You have convinced me."
"I'm so glad, Little Katie."
"How did you know about the tattoo?"
"Let's have pie."
"Let's have pie."
The very next day, Katie broke up with That Rufus in a firm yet tasteful fashion. Five years later she met Bob, who was going to law school, but ended up being the district manager at Rax Burger. She married him and took up cross stitching. Together they had a kid and moved to a slightly different housing development, and nothing of an untoward manner ever took place.
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