Once upon a time, in the ritziest part of Briarwood lived
Rupert T. Bunny. Rupert was a dapper hare who wore a monocle, spats, a
tophat and a cute little vest with a gold watch fob upon which the sunbeams
danced like wee fairies when they came through the tall windows of his
beautiful penthouse apartment.
Rupert mostly vested his time hippity-hopping about
Briarwood’s smarter boutiques and coffee shops, but today he decided to visit
Briarwood Township. Rupert would not normally slum it like this, but
Briarwood Township is where his cousin Flopsy T Bunny lived in a hole in the
ground.
“Wot ho, cousin Flopsy,” Rupert said, descending the hole,
cautious not to muddy his fine spats. “How goes life in the country?”
“Meep!” Cried Flopsy, who had just then been startled.
“Wotwotwotwotwot!” Rupert chuckled, as this is how proper
rabbits laughed. “Wot is that you just said there, cousin?”
“I said ‘meep.’” Flopsy explained. “It is what I
say when startled or to accent any part of my speech that may require it.”
“But we say ‘wot.’” Rupert stated.
“What?” Flopsy asked.
“No,” said Rupert. “Wot. All bunnies say ‘wot.’
Every man jack of us.”
“Well,” said Flopsy, flouncing her ears, “I say ‘meep.’”
Just then Millionare Joe came down the hole. “I’m a
crazy millionare.” Millionare Joe stated, “and I have a mind to give half
mah fortune to the first bunny I see.”
“Meep!” Cried Flopsy.
“Wotwotwotwotwot,” chortled Rupert.
“Well,” said Joe, “we all know proper bunnies say ‘wot,’ so
Rupert here gets half mah fortune! Yeeh-haw!”
“Meep de la beep!” Cried Flopsy, “What does the flopsy get?”
Joe scratched his head. “Well, reckon I could grow mah
moustache out and chase you with a gun every now ‘n again!”
So Rupert got to live in an even ritzier penthouse apartment
in an even better part of town whilst Flopsy got to live in a hole with vermin
and the occasional terrorist. All because she couldn’t say ‘wot.’
THE END
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